5 Ways to Deal with Grief

The entire world was rattled, with the breaking news of the passing of Kobe Bryant, and eight other individuals on a helicopter ride. It is in these moments we are reminded that life is precious and to enjoy the moments that you have with one another. I pray for all of the families affected by this tragedy.

Losing a person you love and care about is extremely difficult. Although, grief is a part of life, there is nothing that anyone can do to stop the hurting you feel. Yet, there are steps one can take to aid in the healing process. Below you will find steps to help deal with your broken heart.

  1. Talk to someone- Talking to your loved ones can aid in the healing process. Yet, I also recommend that you to speak with a therapist and/or join support groups. Similar to you going to the doctor when you have a physical ailment, you can speak with a therapist for your emotional health.
  2. Grieve- Deal with the grief. There are seven stages of grief: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance. The length of time spent at each stage varies from person which is okay. Everyone processes events on their own time. Go through the emotions at your pace.
  3. Pray- The bible says that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18 NIV. Vent to God about your issues he will give you comfort that you are needing during this difficult time.
  4. Be patient with yourself- You may not be over this in a month or year. Be patient with yourself, this may take some time.
  5. Acceptance- Once you’ve gone through the first six stages of grief mentioned above (#2), you will reach acceptance. Acceptance is when you have come to the conclusion that the situation occurred and now you are willing to create necessary adjustments and embrace the change. Your life may look different than you have planned but it can still be a joyful and good life!

Reminders for yourself during this difficult season:

-You can heal!

-You can live a good life despite the change!

-Take it one day at a time!

-You will be happy again!

-You will overcome!

Remember, we are in this journey together!

Love,

10 Tips on Self-Care

Taking care of ourselves is one important value to help us function more efficiently. Between working 40hrs a week (or more), kids, cooking, cleaning, running errands, social events etc. life can get overwhelming. So it is important to take time out for yourself to relax and reset. Below you’ll find 10 quick tips on self-care.

1. Hobby- Take a designated time out of your day to focus on an activity that you love. The time may vary depending on your schedule (10min., 30min., 1hr.) and enjoy your favorite hobby.

2. Bath- Before bed take a nice warm bath with soft music in the background to relax from your stressful day. Ease your mind and body from all tension to reset.

3. Sleep- Sleep is vital for the body. When you do not get enough sleep it can have a negative impact on your physical and mental health. Try your best to get the rest you need daily.

4. Girl time- Enjoy a ladies day/night out. Go to the spa, get mani/pedis, brunch, or dinner. Have fun!

5. Prayer/ Quiet time- When we pray we are reminded that we can cast our cares on Christ because he cares for us (1Peter 5:7) We do not have to carry the burdens of the world on our shoulders. God knew that it would be too much for us to bear. That is why he wants us to give all of our problems to him. He will give you the peace, comfort, and remind you that he has everything in control.

6. Take a walk outside- Changing the scenery and getting out to get fresh air can help you refocus. Stepping away from your daily duties for a few minutes has positive effects.

7. Listen to music- Put on your favorite hits and jam away. Music is proven to boost your mood.

8. Journal- Start a gratitude journal or creative writing journal.

9. Read- Read your favorite book instead of scrolling through social media’s world. We may not realize it but a huge part of our day is spent looking at a phone or computer. Plus staring at our devices all day can cause negative effects on eyesight. Try reading a book to help you de-stress.

10. Take a break- Some times we just literally need a break from the daily hustle. I am an advocate for taking off of work, for a mental health day. Use that time as you wish. Most importantly utilize it for relaxation.

I hope you enjoyed these quick tips on self-care. Remember we are in this journey together!

Love,

The Single Woman’s Anthem

To the single woman, 

This is a message of encouragement to remind you of your worth. You deserve the same love and energy that you give. Although, people are raised differently and have varying perspective, that does not justify their inability to reciprocate the love you give. If a person cannot adhere to the requirements of your morals and values, then you do not have to settle for some half love.

You did not spend all of the days, months, or years, as a single woman, just to get into a relationship and feel single or like you are alone. We’ve all heard this before but relationships are a partnership similar to a friendships. Will there be times that you feel lonely or alone? Yes, because a human is not made to fill all of your voids. Happiness is an inside job. However, there has to be the same level of commitment when you are in a relationship. So the red flags that you see in men are necessary because it helps you to not settle into something that you would be miserable in, later. 

See, you yearn for adventure, love that is never ended, a family. You want weekly date nights, vacations and to try out that new restaurant that just opened. You want to go to that exhibit, even if it is out of state. You desire that life because you live it currently. You are full of life, a ray of sunshine. Yet, coupled with the wrong person, that shimmer will not be as bright. 

While you’re single, I encourage you to not sit around waiting on a man to wife you up. Find you a group a friends, live life, and chase after your purpose. GO! Go on that journey to finding the squad that brightens the light that you already shine. Do not dim your rays because it makes someone feel uncomfortable. That would be a disservice to you. If you have to be single for the rest of your life, so be it! Find contentment in that knowing it is better to be single and full of life, than, married and feeling like you are missing out on living life. 

So let this be the single woman’s anthem on not settling, keeping your standards set, and remembering, WHO YOU ARE! You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)  and a child of a king.

Remember we are in the journey together,