Make America Great, Again?

Last week I wrote about, “Tips to overcome fear“. Without realizing I have to combat a level of fear daily, due to the skin tone I was born in. My heart drops and races if I am pulled over by a cop. I’ve sat in offices being the only brown person and had to have a “clean” look (meaning straightened hair). I have been followed in a store due managers thinking I would steal. My dad, brother, sister, and friends were stopped individually and on different occasions for DWB (driving while black). This tragic moment of George and many other non-white individuals are highlighted to paint the picture of our everyday lives. Put yourself in our position.

Understand that America was built on a platform rooted in hatred. Stolen land from Native Americans, slavery, segregation, discrimination, oppression, racism etc.the list can go on for years. To “Make America Great AGAIN” is an implication that it was a great country before. Yet, that is not the case from my worldview.

Let’s create a TRUE, great America where people are are not detested for their differences and are respected. Let’s create a place where we are treated equally on all levels (Macro, Meso, Micro). In this place, there would not even be a notion such as “white privileged”, because the lines would be non-existent. We would all have the same treatment.

To ask of this is mind boggling and quite frankly my heart hurts. For I now believe that maybe it is too much of a request. You see, the root of past, present, and hopefully not the future America, is RACISM. Racism is the deep seed, that cultivates in one’s heart and brews until it is manifested as lynches, murders, false police calls, discrimination, you’re not welcomed here vibes. Racist are dressed up not only as cops but lawyers, doctors, therapists, politicians, pastors, school board members and leaders. These are people that are supposed to protect you, yet, I am finding that we have to protect ourselves. That’s frightening and ideally we should be united as one.

My point is to stimulate your mind into thinking, how can we make America, great?

-How do we create a safe place for all humans to interact amongst the environment freely?

-How can we make it so that people of color can safely run in their neighborhood?

-How can we make it so we can sleep peacefully in our homes without cops barging in and killing us?

-How can we make it to where I can walk with a hood on and skittles in my pocket?

-How can we make America a place where I can cash a check without it being reported as fraud?

-How can we make America a place where I don’t fear I will be shot when I am stopped by the police?

-How can we make America a place where people don’t falsely call the police on my brother or sister?

-How can we make America a place where I do not have to teach my children, what to do when the police stops you?

-How can we make it to where there are more people that look like me on TV and in the workplace?

I’ll tell you how, by dealing with the root of the problem, RACISM.

Racist individuals will continue to breed racist people if the root is not dealt with. Generational curses can be cured with the knowledge and willingness to break the cycle.

  1. Identify the issue. Why do you dislike a group of people?
  2. Seek counseling
  3. Utilize the techniques and strategies you gain to combat racism.

For the those that endure racism and for individuals that that may not experience it but still use your voice to speak up against wrong–> Please do not allow your heart to harden and grow cold. In the words of the the late Martin Luther King Jr, “darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that”. Know that “We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against the authorities against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” Ephesians 6:12. “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” Luke 23:34.

I will not allow my hope to disappear regarding the future for my people. I will rest on the acts of my ancestors, faith in God and believe that change can happen. As we see, there has been some progression but we still have a long way to go. It may not occur in my lifetime but please in the meantime, lets uproot the weed of racism so that one day, America can be great, as it should.

Let’s make America, Great!

Remember, we are in this journey together.

Tips to Overcome Fear

Fear

  1. Concern or anxiety
  2. Anticipation of the possibility that something unpleasant will occur.
  3. A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain etc..whether the threat is real or imagined

Fear is a way of holding you back from doing what you are called to do. It can cripple you from doing a particular act. Whether it is starting a business, blog, joining that organization, signing the deal, letting go of that friendship/relationship, it prevents an individual from taking that leap.

Tips to overcome, goal orientated fears.

  1. Analyze why you are afraid and challenge that thought. For example, you may be afraid to fail. Confront that fear, if you fail, you can always try again. It is better to fail and learn a lesson than to forever wonder, “If”.
  2. Research that particular journey that you want to embark on and gain the information on it. Knowledge is power!
  3. Make a list of steps you need to take to achieve the goal. Set a date on when you want to accomplish each step and go after it. Stay committed to your achievements. Small steps lead to bigger ones and before you know it, you goal will be completed.
  4. “God does not give the spirit of fear but of power love and a sound mind” 2 Timothy 1:7. The enemy does not want you to walk in your purpose so try to fight those negative thoughts that bring fear into your life.
  5. Surround yourself around individuals that help push you towards your goals and not away from it. Find that tribe that encourages and supports you.

Tips to help physical symptoms of fear

  1. Identify- Recognize the trigger that is causing the fear. Try to move away from the stimulus and get to a safe area away from it. If you are having fear provoking thoughts try to think on something pleasant to lessen the anxiety.
  2. Breath- Breath in for 10 second and out for 10 seconds until you feel your heart rate calm.
  3. Face your fear- If you always avoid situations that cause fear you may prevent yourself from experiencing something enjoyable. Try facing that fear to help you overcome.
  4. Therapy- If your fear affects your daily routine, try seeking a therapist to help manage your fear and anxiety.
  5. Religious- Your faith can help you find a way to overcome your fear.

Remember we are in this journey together,

Quarantine Tips

As everything slows down in the world, it can be challenging to come up with various ways to occupy our time. Below I list quick ideas to stay busy and creative during quarantine!

Tips

#1. Zoom PARTIES- Set a designated time for your friends and family to gather on Zoom. You can make it a theme party such as: happy hour, taco night, 90’s night.

#2. If you are alone you can ask a family member or close friend to come stay with you during this time or vice versa.

#3. Create a routine or schedule to optimize your time. Ex: 8-9 breakfast and prayer, 9-10 read a book, 10-11 exercise, 11-12 lunch and favorite TV show, 12-1 learn a new activity.

#4 Solitude- Take this time to really get to know yourself. Understand who you are, likes, dislikes and understand who you are on a deeper level.

#5 New goal- Many of us put things on hold due to time. If this is you, use this season to learn that new activity. For example you may have always wanted to master sewing, so buy that sewing kit and YouTube lessons. Write the book, start the blog. Ex: Always wanted to do yoga, YouTube lessons. I know it may not be the ideal way but you can do this in the meantime.

#6 Rest- This tip may contradicts with #5 but hear me out. Some people feel like they should be optimizing there time and getting busy in life. Achieving those goals that they never had time for and if that is you then #5 is right up your alley. However, others may feel that they are always on the go and rarely get time to themselves. So this season is the perfect opportunity to rest, relax, and regroup. If that is you, enjoy this time resting so you can have the energy to tackle all of the items, once quarantine is over.

Click here to check out my YouTube channel!

Do you have any suggestions? Feel free to leave your ideas in the comments!

Remember we are in this journey together,

My First eBook

I am so excited to share with you all, MY FIRST EBOOK!

Win the Battle of Depression: Overcoming Depression with God and Therapy!

You can win!

This eBook, brings a message of hope, healing, and encouragement for every individual that is facing a mental battle, you can overcome.
Win the Battle of Depression was written to help individuals who feel hopeless and are on a search for healing in their life. This guide will give you insight into my own own struggle with depression and the steps that I made to triumph over the obstacle. With the help of God and therapy I was able to have victory and defeat depression.
This manual is equipped with tools from my personal experiences, to help you take steps in the direction, towards restoration. I understand the darkness and loneliness that you may feel, therefore, provided tips for you to receive healing through the integration of theology and psychology.
What’s included?
-Exclusive 21-day workbook, designed especially for you
-Verses
-Prayers
-Detailed personal experience, to help guide you on your journey towards recovery
-Ways to identify depression and steps to overcome

Your support is greatly appreciated and I look forward to hearing your thoughts on your purchase!

Remember, we are in this journey together!

Love,

God is in Control!

With all that is going on in the world it is so easy to become inflicted with fear and worry. I will be open and honest that anxiety gripped me while I was in the store one night. I viewed the empty aisles and fear seeped into my soul. As I felt my heart racing, I was reminded that God does not give the spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). He is in control!

I want to encourage us all that what’s happening in the world is not a shock to the creator. Though we may not understand completely, God will see us through. Let’s take some time out to re-center our minds on the Lord’s promises.

Isaiah 41:10 

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Psalm 46:1 

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”

Philippians 4:6-7

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

1 Peter 5:7

“Cast all your anxiety on Him, because he cares for you.”

Romans 8:28

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Mathew 6:34

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Proverbs 16:4

“The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble.”

Philippians 4:6-7

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Psalm 56:3

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”

Remember, we are in this journey together!

Love,

How to Find Your Purpose

I recall in my undergraduate years of college, hitting a wall and not truly knowing what I wanted to do with my life. I thought I had it all figured out prior to entering college. Since elementary, I knew I would be a medical doctor and their was nothing that would stop me. I kept that SAME ENERGY, throughout high school, and all of my family and friends were supportive.

Fast forward to college, I was pre-med taking biology and calculus for the bio-sciences. This is where I came to the realization that I no longer enjoyed science and math was still my weakest subject. I was miserable and although my peers had the same feelings as I did, something did not sit right within my soul. Becoming a medical doctor was not the correct track for my life.

My family and friends were continuously supportive through my change of mind but one question remained. If being a doctor is not my calling then what is? That was the question that impeded my mind repeatedly. I took a semester of electives as I figured out my path which consisted of much soul searching and prayer. However, I found my purpose!

Many individuals are currently seeking after the correct path for their life. If that is you, I am here to help! Below you will find a quick list of ways you can your purpose!

  1. Follow your heart- Don’t allow society and others surrounding you, dictate your life. If you feel like you have to change paths then do so. It does not matter what people think, you have to follow your heart!
  2. List- Make a list of things that you are extremely passionate about in your journal. That can range from helping others, playing piano, or health and fitness. However, be detailed and specific about your interests. Ex: I am passionate about health and fitness because I want individuals to be healthy on the inside and out.
  3. Reflect- Reflect on your strengths and add them to the list you created. Circle all of the categories that line up with your strengths
  4. Aptitude test- Take a career and personality aptitude test to analyze your interests, values, personality and preferences surrounding your career.
  5. Pray- This is the most important of them all. Pray and ask God to reveal to you, your purpose in life. He will lead the way!

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:5

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.” Mathew 7:7-8

A book that can aid in helping find the correct path is called, The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

Remember we are in this journey together!

Love,

6 Tips to Dating as a Christian

The definition of dating can be defined various ways which is dependent upon each individual. For most, it is enjoying the company of an individual that you are interested in knowing in a deeper level. That can include dinner dates, painting, visiting a nice museum or art gallery, but that list can go on and on.

However, when you are dating as a Christian, there are different standards that one should consider. Below you will find a list of tips for dating as a Christian.

1. Boundaries- As a devote Christian, the word teaches us to flee temptation. We all know that if you play with fire you will get burned. So as you are dating, it is important to put up strict boundaries so that you two will not fall into temptation. These limitations can consist of: inviting a third party along for your dates, hanging out in public vs. home, church hugs (side hugs).

2. Purpose- Dating as a Christian is intentional therefore, most call it courtship. When you are dating/courting you should have an end goal of marriage. If either party is not ready for marriage then it’s best to remain friends.

3. God- God is at the center of your relationship. You both should be pushing one another toward Christ and not away from Him.

4. Family & friends- Family and friends involvement is vital when dating because individuals act differently in certain environments. It is good to see how your significant other behaves around others. Also, it is important to gain insight about your partner from family and friends. Sometimes they can see something, from the outside looking in, that you may have overlooked (whether positive or negative)

5. Wise counsel- Seeking wise counsel like pre-marital counseling opens a level of communication and challenges your thought process on this journey towards marriage. Thought provoking questions and discussions can give insight into one another and can help your future marriage be successful.

6. Emotion control- As you’re dating it is important to keep your emotions under control and really understand your partner. At times, we can allow our vision to get cloudy but it is important to have a clear outlook on the individual that you’re dating. This also ties into number one, boundaries. When physical lines are crossed people typically begin to excuse or justify negative behaviors. Without physical contact (aside from hugs, holding hands) you are able to view the individuals actions sharply.

What are some dating tips that you may have?

Remember we are in this journey together!

Love,

Brown Skin Girl

*cues Brown Skin Girl by Beyonce*

“Brown skin girl
Your skin just like pearls
The best thing in the world
Never trade you for anybody else”

As an African American woman I take pride in my culture just as everyone else does in there own right. I love our history, foods, dances, music, creativity and so much more. I adore being a brown skin girl and would not trade it for the world.

Although, the majority has tried to strip us from the way we were created to be, we still stand proud and with dignity. We constantly have to rise up against the opposition we face. Our forefathers fought a good fight to get the world to where it is now, however, we still have to push through barriers today.

For instance, our careers and schools require our hair to be a “clean” look, which essentially means straightened and not in its natural state. Brown is under-represented on TV and fashion which majority of the models or actresses are of another race. We have to type key words “black woman” at the end of the sentence in a search bar, just to see ourselves on Google or Pinterest. Ex: Braid hairstyles on black women. Ex: Wedding dress on black women. We are not honored as widely as we should be.

Yet, here we are! Thanks to certain avenues like BET, HBCU’s, or producers such as Tyler Perry and more. Due to certain institutions and individuals that help promote black culture, we have lanes that were created to help us thrive. Standing strong like our elders have taught us and implementing the power of self love onto our offspring.

Brown skin girls, we have come so far from the horrific treatment our ancestors received, yet we have a journey to go. During this month of black history, let’s continue to honor our past by making our present impactful, so that the future generations can look upon us, as we do our precedent. Continue to push through the barriers, create new lanes, open businesses, and pursue your dreams despite opposition. Your yes, will expand the horizon even wider, for the next generation in line. This is black history! We are black history! Keep making history!

Remember we are in this journey together!

Love,

6 Ways to Finding Happiness

The search for happiness is a piece of life that one must find within. As I’ve gone through this journey called, life, I’ve realized that happiness is not based on external factors but internal. Of course, money and materials things make life easier to manage. Yet, if you talk to the wealthy they’ll say “No matter how much you have, you’ll still want more”. It is your inner peace and the small things in life that make life worthwhile.

I always say life is like a rollercoaster. You will have ups, downs, twists, and turns. The only thing you can do is hold on for the ride. What do you do when those valleys hit home? Money can’t fix rejection, loss, and pain. Learning how to master peace, while you’re going through a storm, is the art.

If you base your fulfillment on environmental factors then you will constantly blame your unhappiness on people and things. “I’m not cheerful because I have a flat tire”. “I’m not happy because I don’t have enough money”. “I’m sad because I didn’t have a date”.

We all can find something wrong with our life every single day. Yes, we will have moments when we are down emotionally but we have to try to not allow these moments to take control over our life. Below you will find a list of tips to find your happiness:

1. Find your passion- Seek out the activities that you love to do.

2. Protection- “Rejection is Gods protection”. Rejection can come in many forms such as: not getting job promotion, breakup, loss of friendship etc. Just know whenever life does not go the way you envisioned, that makes room for something bigger and better to occur.

3. Pray- Some of us just naturally have a pessimistic view on life. Ask God to give you a new mindset, to be able to see the world from optimistic outlook. “And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.”(John 15:15)

4. Contentment- Reflect on your life to evaluate where your discontentment is stemming from. Sometimes, our unhappiness comes from not walking in our calling, feelings of being lost, or not truly understanding who we are. Take time to journal and gain a deeper interpretation of yourself. Find out the “Why” or the root of where your unhappiness resides. Once you establish a strong foundation, contentment will be on the horizon.

5. Make a choice- We make decisions every second of our life,yet, some are more difficult than others. Just like we choose what to wear to work, or cook for dinner, we have to choose to be happy. At times that maybe more difficult than others, however, be determined to not allow our circumstances to dictate our life. We are in control and have to constantly cast down those negative thoughts that want to reign on your parade. “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” 2Corithians 10:5

6. Counseling- Sometimes a person outside your circle can bring about an awareness. Our friends may not understand or you may not feel comfortable venting to them. Find a therapist near your community to discuss your presenting situation and to find deep meaning to your unhappiness.

Remember, we are in this journey together!

Love,

Living Single: How to Deal with Singleness on Valentine’s Day

One of the most hated days for many singles across the nation is, Valentine’s Day. It is a day dedicated to love which reminds many individuals of the relationship status they lack. It is a painful reminder that one does not have significant other, to share “love day” with.

I’m single, however, Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite holidays (not a public holiday). I have always equated it to love but not solely for couples. Even though it’s a day most recognize for couples, my family and friends have always made it a collective celebration. I enjoy it just as I do Christmas. Everyone gives and receives cute gifts and just enjoy the occasion.

If you are single this year for Valentine’s Day, I want to encourage you that fulfillment of love does not stem from a man or woman, but it comes from within. YOU. Two of the greatest loves of all are, self love and the love from God. If your heart is hardened by this day of love, find rest in knowing that you receive the best love from our Heavenly Father. Below you will find a list of tips to help you through the Valentine’s season.

1. Girls night-Girl, enjoy this day by engaging in your favorite things. Self love is one of the best loves. Go to dinner with your gals and celebrate yourself. Cheers to not settling and being content with life. (Vice versa for the Fellas)

2. Favorite-Order take out from your favorite restaurant and catch up on your favorite tv shows or watch your top movie.

3. Family time-Most people do not like going out on Vday due to the crowds. If that’s in the case of your circle, the, spend time with your family. What better way to spend this day with people that love you most.

4. Gift giving-Send a gift to someone and help brighten their day. You never know what the next person is going through. Plus, it does the heart well by doing good for someone else. “It is always better to give than receive”.

5. Spa day/night- Give yourself a gift to the spa. Get a nice massage, hair/nails done and enjoy “Me time”.

6. Choices- “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get”. That is true in a lot of cases but in others you know how to make the right choices. Just like you choose a show to watch or what you will cook for dinner, you have to decide to be happy and not bitter. So what you’re single! So what “everyone is in a relationship”! Are you going to sit there and choose to wallow in pity and despise the plan God has for your life? Girl/Guy dust yourself off and fight for your mind! Better to be single and happy than married and unhappy. If you do not master contentment in your singleness it will follow you into your relationship. Talk to married individuals and they’ll tell you, at times they feel lonely, unloved, not valued, or stuck. “Marriage won’t fix you and being single won’t kill you”. Emotions do not change just because of your relationship status. Managing your emotional state, is an inside job that you have to work on constantly, until you reach eternity. You got this!

Click here to checkout my YouTube channel!

Remember we are in this journey together!

Love,