Make America Great, Again?

Last week I wrote about, “Tips to overcome fear“. Without realizing I have to combat a level of fear daily, due to the skin tone I was born in. My heart drops and races if I am pulled over by a cop. I’ve sat in offices being the only brown person and had to have a “clean” look (meaning straightened hair). I have been followed in a store due managers thinking I would steal. My dad, brother, sister, and friends were stopped individually and on different occasions for DWB (driving while black). This tragic moment of George and many other non-white individuals are highlighted to paint the picture of our everyday lives. Put yourself in our position.

Understand that America was built on a platform rooted in hatred. Stolen land from Native Americans, slavery, segregation, discrimination, oppression, racism etc.the list can go on for years. To “Make America Great AGAIN” is an implication that it was a great country before. Yet, that is not the case from my worldview.

Let’s create a TRUE, great America where people are are not detested for their differences and are respected. Let’s create a place where we are treated equally on all levels (Macro, Meso, Micro). In this place, there would not even be a notion such as “white privileged”, because the lines would be non-existent. We would all have the same treatment.

To ask of this is mind boggling and quite frankly my heart hurts. For I now believe that maybe it is too much of a request. You see, the root of past, present, and hopefully not the future America, is RACISM. Racism is the deep seed, that cultivates in one’s heart and brews until it is manifested as lynches, murders, false police calls, discrimination, you’re not welcomed here vibes. Racist are dressed up not only as cops but lawyers, doctors, therapists, politicians, pastors, school board members and leaders. These are people that are supposed to protect you, yet, I am finding that we have to protect ourselves. That’s frightening and ideally we should be united as one.

My point is to stimulate your mind into thinking, how can we make America, great?

-How do we create a safe place for all humans to interact amongst the environment freely?

-How can we make it so that people of color can safely run in their neighborhood?

-How can we make it so we can sleep peacefully in our homes without cops barging in and killing us?

-How can we make it to where I can walk with a hood on and skittles in my pocket?

-How can we make America a place where I can cash a check without it being reported as fraud?

-How can we make America a place where I don’t fear I will be shot when I am stopped by the police?

-How can we make America a place where people don’t falsely call the police on my brother or sister?

-How can we make America a place where I do not have to teach my children, what to do when the police stops you?

-How can we make it to where there are more people that look like me on TV and in the workplace?

I’ll tell you how, by dealing with the root of the problem, RACISM.

Racist individuals will continue to breed racist people if the root is not dealt with. Generational curses can be cured with the knowledge and willingness to break the cycle.

  1. Identify the issue. Why do you dislike a group of people?
  2. Seek counseling
  3. Utilize the techniques and strategies you gain to combat racism.

For the those that endure racism and for individuals that that may not experience it but still use your voice to speak up against wrong–> Please do not allow your heart to harden and grow cold. In the words of the the late Martin Luther King Jr, “darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that”. Know that “We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against the authorities against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” Ephesians 6:12. “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” Luke 23:34.

I will not allow my hope to disappear regarding the future for my people. I will rest on the acts of my ancestors, faith in God and believe that change can happen. As we see, there has been some progression but we still have a long way to go. It may not occur in my lifetime but please in the meantime, lets uproot the weed of racism so that one day, America can be great, as it should.

Let’s make America, Great!

Remember, we are in this journey together.

6 Ways to Finding Happiness

The search for happiness is a piece of life that one must find within. As I’ve gone through this journey called, life, I’ve realized that happiness is not based on external factors but internal. Of course, money and materials things make life easier to manage. Yet, if you talk to the wealthy they’ll say “No matter how much you have, you’ll still want more”. It is your inner peace and the small things in life that make life worthwhile.

I always say life is like a rollercoaster. You will have ups, downs, twists, and turns. The only thing you can do is hold on for the ride. What do you do when those valleys hit home? Money can’t fix rejection, loss, and pain. Learning how to master peace, while you’re going through a storm, is the art.

If you base your fulfillment on environmental factors then you will constantly blame your unhappiness on people and things. “I’m not cheerful because I have a flat tire”. “I’m not happy because I don’t have enough money”. “I’m sad because I didn’t have a date”.

We all can find something wrong with our life every single day. Yes, we will have moments when we are down emotionally but we have to try to not allow these moments to take control over our life. Below you will find a list of tips to find your happiness:

1. Find your passion- Seek out the activities that you love to do.

2. Protection- “Rejection is Gods protection”. Rejection can come in many forms such as: not getting job promotion, breakup, loss of friendship etc. Just know whenever life does not go the way you envisioned, that makes room for something bigger and better to occur.

3. Pray- Some of us just naturally have a pessimistic view on life. Ask God to give you a new mindset, to be able to see the world from optimistic outlook. “And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.”(John 15:15)

4. Contentment- Reflect on your life to evaluate where your discontentment is stemming from. Sometimes, our unhappiness comes from not walking in our calling, feelings of being lost, or not truly understanding who we are. Take time to journal and gain a deeper interpretation of yourself. Find out the “Why” or the root of where your unhappiness resides. Once you establish a strong foundation, contentment will be on the horizon.

5. Make a choice- We make decisions every second of our life,yet, some are more difficult than others. Just like we choose what to wear to work, or cook for dinner, we have to choose to be happy. At times that maybe more difficult than others, however, be determined to not allow our circumstances to dictate our life. We are in control and have to constantly cast down those negative thoughts that want to reign on your parade. “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” 2Corithians 10:5

6. Counseling- Sometimes a person outside your circle can bring about an awareness. Our friends may not understand or you may not feel comfortable venting to them. Find a therapist near your community to discuss your presenting situation and to find deep meaning to your unhappiness.

Remember, we are in this journey together!

Love,

10 Tips on Self-Care

Taking care of ourselves is one important value to help us function more efficiently. Between working 40hrs a week (or more), kids, cooking, cleaning, running errands, social events etc. life can get overwhelming. So it is important to take time out for yourself to relax and reset. Below you’ll find 10 quick tips on self-care.

1. Hobby- Take a designated time out of your day to focus on an activity that you love. The time may vary depending on your schedule (10min., 30min., 1hr.) and enjoy your favorite hobby.

2. Bath- Before bed take a nice warm bath with soft music in the background to relax from your stressful day. Ease your mind and body from all tension to reset.

3. Sleep- Sleep is vital for the body. When you do not get enough sleep it can have a negative impact on your physical and mental health. Try your best to get the rest you need daily.

4. Girl time- Enjoy a ladies day/night out. Go to the spa, get mani/pedis, brunch, or dinner. Have fun!

5. Prayer/ Quiet time- When we pray we are reminded that we can cast our cares on Christ because he cares for us (1Peter 5:7) We do not have to carry the burdens of the world on our shoulders. God knew that it would be too much for us to bear. That is why he wants us to give all of our problems to him. He will give you the peace, comfort, and remind you that he has everything in control.

6. Take a walk outside- Changing the scenery and getting out to get fresh air can help you refocus. Stepping away from your daily duties for a few minutes has positive effects.

7. Listen to music- Put on your favorite hits and jam away. Music is proven to boost your mood.

8. Journal- Start a gratitude journal or creative writing journal.

9. Read- Read your favorite book instead of scrolling through social media’s world. We may not realize it but a huge part of our day is spent looking at a phone or computer. Plus staring at our devices all day can cause negative effects on eyesight. Try reading a book to help you de-stress.

10. Take a break- Some times we just literally need a break from the daily hustle. I am an advocate for taking off of work, for a mental health day. Use that time as you wish. Most importantly utilize it for relaxation.

I hope you enjoyed these quick tips on self-care. Remember we are in this journey together!

Love,

The Single Woman’s Anthem

To the single woman, 

This is a message of encouragement to remind you of your worth. You deserve the same love and energy that you give. Although, people are raised differently and have varying perspective, that does not justify their inability to reciprocate the love you give. If a person cannot adhere to the requirements of your morals and values, then you do not have to settle for some half love.

You did not spend all of the days, months, or years, as a single woman, just to get into a relationship and feel single or like you are alone. We’ve all heard this before but relationships are a partnership similar to a friendships. Will there be times that you feel lonely or alone? Yes, because a human is not made to fill all of your voids. Happiness is an inside job. However, there has to be the same level of commitment when you are in a relationship. So the red flags that you see in men are necessary because it helps you to not settle into something that you would be miserable in, later. 

See, you yearn for adventure, love that is never ended, a family. You want weekly date nights, vacations and to try out that new restaurant that just opened. You want to go to that exhibit, even if it is out of state. You desire that life because you live it currently. You are full of life, a ray of sunshine. Yet, coupled with the wrong person, that shimmer will not be as bright. 

While you’re single, I encourage you to not sit around waiting on a man to wife you up. Find you a group a friends, live life, and chase after your purpose. GO! Go on that journey to finding the squad that brightens the light that you already shine. Do not dim your rays because it makes someone feel uncomfortable. That would be a disservice to you. If you have to be single for the rest of your life, so be it! Find contentment in that knowing it is better to be single and full of life, than, married and feeling like you are missing out on living life. 

So let this be the single woman’s anthem on not settling, keeping your standards set, and remembering, WHO YOU ARE! You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)  and a child of a king.

Remember we are in the journey together,